Buh Bye

Dear Soulmate,
I’ve decided to throw in the towel . I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I’ve realized that I have spent a lot of time waiting for you to appear ( I know , I know!!! From what I’ve read you don’t count or measure the things you do for love; if you do it isn’t love ; ….ok yeah whatever!!!).

Believe me I have tried my best these past 25 years to meet you , been thought of as insane by every sane person I meet, held out for as long as I could, fought with my parents, have been thought crazy and difficult by relatives and even traveled the seven seas…

B suggests that maybe we should become Witchy Women and conjure you up using magic… as you are taking your time arriving !!!!But as tempting as that sounds , and as much as I like some instant stuff, I don’t know if instant love would cut it , I think the whole concept of you being you is the eternity ( read never !!) when I finally get to meet you ,B also says you may right now be with someone else ..that’s possible I mean just because we didn’t pair up with the wrong person doesn’t mean that you haven’t .... so I guess you’re taking your time for your own reasons or you missed your flight here or whatever , but the fact is now I think I’d much rather see you in the next life …..

You have been a part of my imaginings since as far as I can remember; I remember when as “enlightened” 14 olds we discussed “boyfriends” and “going around” ..I remember we used to discuss what jerks guys were even at that age…… anyway it got to a point where a friend said “ You know Knights in Shining Armor don’t exist, you’ve got to make do with what’s there” , I still remember that line ,don’t remember the context though… I wish I had listened to my friend then and there …………….


Maybe thoughts of you were exacerbated with me overdosing on Romantic Comedies and Chic Lit , where everything starts happily ever after and ends the same way …. A movie which I think inspired me or permanently ,irrevocably damaged my thoughts was Serendipity , for those who don’t know what it’s about a little summary :

A man and a woman spend an evening together in NYC and realize that they have something special but they part later in the day leaving no contact information with the other person , deciding that if they were really meant to be together destiny would help them .. Well seven years later they lead separate lives, ready to get married to other people , but they keep thinking of this one evening seven years ago , the girl makes a trip back to the city and the rest of the movie follows the acts of fate that bring them together……Well it really was inspiring , but there’s a scene in the movie - the heroine’s best friend runs a new age shop, and dissuades her friend for wasting her life because of a fantasy…. Maybe that is my state of mind now ….

But you know there is always a chance the fantasy might be true..

Since then , i.e the time I first watched the movie ; I’ve learnt that catching the next plane to meet the person of your dreams isn’t going to result in fireworks. or it depends on your definition of fireworks!!!!

Any way Dear Soulmate, at times I have caught glimpses of you. In all reality these glimpses have kept me going, at times I even believed it was you, then crummy stuff happened ..and I realize that maybe like the cliché goes “ it’s because I can appreciate you better, (when I do finally meet you!!!!) ” .


I still for the life of me don’t know what I’m doing in the US, in times of deep gloom and confusion I thought maybe it was a path to lead to you ..But maybe I’m wrong!!!


You might be in Timbuktoo for all I know , and we all know that a person can come from Timbuktoo or anywhere to the US , but not the other way around…..Ok Ok I don’t believe this , I just put this in because some part of me would like to be in India right now ………..

Well , Soulmatey it was a nice trip while it lasted, maybe I could hold out for you longer , there would be nothing better than meeting the only person in the world that was destined to be with me. I think I would know when I meet you , the one I can say “you complete me” to. (OK that was trite !!!! Tom Cruise doesn’t sound that romantic these days!!). But you know I could hold out , I doubt it would be much fun though if I met you when I'm say 90 years old….

So buhbye soulmate…. The bridge across forever for this life probably ends here , I will hold thoughts of you tucked in the recesses of my heart forever ..for the time being I will go back to responding to emails asking about my hobbies , likes and dislikes…. *sigh* and back to the life where the idea of you gets more and more distant…

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