Drifter..

I don’t know..... I guess that to succeed in life you need some drive; a dose of killer instinct, at least give a fig about what people think about you and at least make an effort to keep up with the Joneses ….“unfortunately” I’m past all that …I think I’ve been like that for a long time, I would go as far as to say that I’ve been born like that!!!


I don’t know if I’m a drifter , but I know when I don’t like the particular place in life I’m in…. past experience shows that I usually catch the next bus out… maybe I was passionate about a few things in my life. I’ve however moved on to a stage where right now , at this present moment …I don’t really know what drives me to keep going… it’s a bit sad really ….

Maybe getting a degree or finding a job should be my passion right now , I have a vague idea about what job I’d like to be doing in the future, but in the meanwhile I wouldn’t mind washing dishes or flipping burgers, okay maybe I would mind..(Only because I’d get bored with it soon enough)…. Believe it or not all that has happened in my life so far has been pretty much luck, go with your gut kind of stuff….. I have a lot of faith in my gut instinct!!! Right now my intuition isn’t telling me much … I wish it would. I need some direction right about now, but when what you want from life is different from most people you know, sometimes you end up getting confused …

I don’t value material possessions much , yeah I like shopping ,it serves as therapy for me , I usually buy stuff I like ,if it’s good I don’t mind paying extra for it , I like the independence and freedom money would give to satisfy my immediate desires i.e. food, clothing, shelter, books and music( not in that order). But I don’t need a swanky car or a swanky home ….those are things I don’t aspire for…That’s one thing I know for sure … I really don’t get along well with people who place a premium on material possessions , maybe because I’m such a hermit myself …. So that’s one thing I know I don’t want …

… Power doesn’t excite me at all … what’s with power!! I don’t want to assume responsibility for or over other people, I have a hard time looking after myself as it is!!!

… May be knowledge , yes that’s a good driving force , but honestly I don’t harbor Nobel prize intelligence or aspirations….


… people … well when it comes down to it , I really consider everyone my equal , irrespective of age , religion, color, caste ,class , nationality, date of birth, region of India , America, China or Germany they hail from,sexual orientation, dietary preference,..( what other ways of classifying people do we have??).. How do I know this??.. well one thing that has been right with my life has been the opportunity to really interact with people from different walks of life… and what I’ve learnt from that is people are really all the same.. and not to look up to; or look down on anyone … the folks who get their hands dirty so that you don’t have to, folks you meet when you travel by bus … KSRTC in India , greyhound in America , my Hindi movie star “uncle” if you ask I’ll tell you who it is ( no I haven’t met him or spoken to him , but my mom and aunt talk to his elder sister ..She’s how I’m related to him) and I’ll give you a hint his surname is Khan and he recently had a hit movie!! (I know I’ve always been a bit of a showoff this way!!!! gottto stop!!!)) ,Teachers, the Hindus, Muslims , Christians , Jews , Parsis , Sikhs, Buddhists ,Atheists , pagans and Goths and members of their myriad sub sects I’ve gotten to meet in this journey ; some albeit for a short while …you know how it goes… just get out of your comfort zone.. of people just like you .. to find out that outside guess what???
The rest of the world ain’t that much different from the other people in your life..

Now you might think that’s easy for me to say , but to everyone out there the only reason you haven’t had the opportunity to explore is because you haven’t let yourself! You don’t need to get on a plane to broaden your world view , just think about all the things around your world right now that you’ve closed out, it could be anything from blocking a particular type of music , or a particular type of dress, or food or a particular “type” of people…

You know at times like this I wish I had a master plan ,something to work toward, may be do something so that in the end I could tell people “Look at me , look what I’ve done!!!” but I don’t want to do that , what’s the point of living your life to prove something to other people , I’m sure that would drive me into depression… well I guess I’m not too stressed out with life the way it is now .. I guess I have got something down right …. But I just wish I knew where I was heading!!!!!!