Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Amitava Kumar on English Textbooks

The Hindu, Literary Review, October 2, 2005
Textbook of Laughter and Forgetting



We have repeatedly witnessed in recent years, almost like the seasonal outbreak of a distressing form of cholera, controversies over the contents of history textbooks.
But why is there no discussion about what school-children are asked to read in their English textbooks?


I have very little memory now of what I had read in the books used in my history classes, although I do remember the attention with which I would copy out on clean sheets of paper the line-drawings that represented the portraits of emperors. Akbar’s moustache drooped. Humayun was thin and wizened, already preparing, it seemed, for a premature death. The rounded lines in the portrait of Shah Jahan contained all the sorrow of love’s futile striving. Nearly everything else in those books escapes me at the moment.

This might be entirely because I was a mediocre student and, like the uninspired everywhere, I found my classes stultifying. But the fact remains that I still have vivid and exact memories of what I read in my English textbooks. It was there that I read George Orwell’s account of shooting an elephant in Burma, Dom Moraes on a trip to the Thar, Khushwant Singh’s depiction of life in the village of Mano Majra, Somerset Maugham describing the solitude on his seventieth birthday.

When I was sixteen, I left my hometown Patna to go to school in Delhi. The school where I got admission, Modern School on Barakhamba Road, was a prestigious enclave where the children of the rich and the powerful came each day as if they were visiting a familiar club. Our teachers, for the most part drawn from the Punjabi middle-class, could only use a puritanical and unimaginative pedagogy to prop themselves up against the display of wealth. They knew in their hearts that they were superfluous and stuck to the dull routine of making us read and repeat the words in the textbooks prescribed by the school board.

Nevertheless, the English textbooks that I read and reread during those two years gave me a sense of language and an idea of how to express my own sense of the world that I inhabited. This is what literature can do, even without your knowing it. Shouldn’t there be wider debate, then, on what our students read in their books?
I recently received a letter from an editor at Macmillan-India. He had written to say that he was preparing a textbook for the Intermediate level students in Bihar and he wanted permission to use an essay of mine in which I had written about a visit to the Khudabaksh Library in Patna.*

The letter brought back the mixed memories from my youth. In my reply to the editor, I readily granted permission. I didn't ask for any payment. It seemed to me that even one poor student reading me in Bihar would be worth a thousand readers in South Delhi or abroad.

When I remembered my own alienating classroom experiences, it gave me pleasure to think that now a reader in Bihar would be able to rediscover his or her own world in my writing. The names of places as well as the people, the sentiments shared by the writer, even the dust on the streets—all of this would be familiar to the student in towns like Ara or Motihari. How many times before had Bihari students found their lives reflected in the English textbooks prescribed for their courses?
Then, just last week, the postman brought a registered package from India. It was the textbook with my essay in it. I read the book quickly. The search for relevance by the education council had meant not only the inclusion of Bihari writers like Tabish Khair among the contributors but also pieces that provided urgent social critique. A good example was a poem "Voice of the Unwanted Girl" by Sujata Bhatt, written in the voice of a destroyed foetus, presenting a protest against female infanticide. Textbooks elsewhere in India should include writings like this that touch the heart and challenge the mind.

Our students need to be freed from the claustrophobia of the classroom. The prose and poetry that we offer them should appear to them fresh and enlivening. The Macmillian-India book began with a brilliant, hopeful piece by Jawaharlal Nehru, its elegant rhetoric paying homage to the arrival of Gandhi. I felt my senses lift while reading the essay. However, I'd like to see students also reading well-written critical pieces on subjects as seemingly trivial as Bombay films. Let's give them Ashis Nandy's incisive essay on P.C. Barua and Devdas. It will engage—and educate—students as much if not more than Shakespeare and Blake.

Why is it that English textbooks, including the one I was sent, are top-heavy with hagiographies of our national leaders? I have rarely seen letters printed in these books. There is very little travel-writing. There is no space ever for quality journalism. In general, we should also be publishing more women writers. To my students in America, I have taught Mahasweta Devi, Ismat Chughtai, Urvashi Butalia, and Arundhati Roy. Why are these writers not being taught in the places where I studied in India?

In the textbook that sparked these reflections, I found a story by O. Henry called "After Twenty Years." I had read this story in my English class twenty years ago. The lines of dialogue and the characteristic, surprising O. Henry twist at the end of the story came flooding back as I turned the pages. But this experience also made me distrust my pleasure and my nostalgia. Why are textbooks so remarkably unchanged even after decades?

The most disturbing aspect of the controversies over the history textbooks has been the extent to which current political interests determined what was taught in the classroom. That was detrimental, no doubt, but in the matter of English textbooks the opposite has been true. Our textbooks have remained for the most part trapped in the bubble of their own past. They continue to be hodge-podge collections of quaint pieces, somewhat suspect in their usefulness, a bit like the clay-objects strewn beside a corpse in a ceremonial grave. It is no surprise that in our professional use of the English language, as a people, we remain stiff, formal, awkward. Unless these textbooks are radically changed, our teachers will remain mummy-makers, wrapping cotton around our children's mouths.

The Unknown Errors of Our Lives

"The Unknown Errors of Our Lives"
-Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

………. It would have been the worst error of her life, and she wouldn't even have known it. It saddens her to think of all the errors people make (she has been musing over such things lately)--the unknown errors of their lives, the ones they can never put down in a book and are therefore doomed to repeat………

Monday, December 04, 2006

Another quote compilation.... WooHooo!!!

It’s been a while since I posted some quotes …. Long one..hope you find some you like .

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
- George Carlin

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
- Stephen Crane

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- Woody Allen

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it?


I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
- Kahlil Gibran

Better keep yourself clear and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
- Etienne de Grellet

"The darker the night, the brighter the stars."
- Vasily Rozanov

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.
- Helen Keller

"Do you know a cure for me?"
"Why yes," he said, "I know a cure for everything. Salt water."
"Salt water?" I asked him.
"Yes," he said, "In one form or another; sweat, tears or the salt sea."
- Isak Dinesen


KAHLIL GIBRAN
Seven times have I despised my soul:
The first time when I saw her being meek
that she might attain height.
The second time when I saw her
limping before the crippled.
The third time when she was given to choose
between the hard and the easy, and she chose the easy.
The fourth time when she committed a wrong,
and comforted herself that others, also commit wrong.
The fifth time when she forbore for weakness,
and attributed her patience to strength.
The sixth time when she despised the ugliness of a face,
and knew not that it was one of her own masks.
And the seventh time when she sang a song of praise,
and deemed it a virtue

ON THE STEPS OF THE TEMPLE


Yester-eve, on the marble steps of the Temple, I saw a woman sitting
between two men. One side of her face was pale, the other was
blushing.

FACES

I have seen a face with a thousand countenances, and a face that
was but a single countenance as if held in a mould.

I have seen a face whose sheen I could look through to the ugliness
beneath, and a face whose sheen I had to lift to see how beautiful
it was.

I have seen an old face much lined with nothing, and a smooth face
in which all things were graven.

I know faces, because I look through the fabric my own eye weaves,
and behold the reality beneath.

"THE PERFECT WORLD"


God of lost souls, thou who are lost amongst the gods, hear me:

Gentle Destiny that watchest over us, mad, wandering spirits, hear
me:

I dwell in the midst of a perfect race, I the most imperfect.

I, a human chaos, a nebula of confused elements, I move amongst
finished worlds--peoples of complete laws and pure order, whose
thoughts are assorted, whose dreams are arranged, and whose visions
are enrolled and registered.

Their virtues, O God, are measured, their sins are weighed, and
even the countless things that pass in the dim twilight of neither
sin nor virtue are recorded and catalogued.

Here days and night are divided into seasons of conduct and governed
by rules of blameless accuracy.

To eat, to drink, to sleep, to cover one's nudity, and then to be
weary in due time.

To work, to play, to sing, to dance, and then to lie still when
the clock strikes the hour.

To think thus, to feel thus much, and then to cease thinking and
feeling when a certain star rises above yonder horizon.

To rob a neighbour with a smile, to bestow gifts with a graceful
wave of the hand, to praise prudently, to blame cautiously, to
destroy a sound with a word, to burn a body with a breath, and then
to wash the hands when the day's work is done.

To love according to an established order, to entertain one's best
self in a preconceived manner, to worship the gods becomingly,
to intrigue the devils artfully--and then to forget all as though
memory were dead.

To fancy with a motive, to contemplate with consideration, to be
happy sweetly, to suffer nobly--and then to empty the cup so that
tomorrow may fill it again.

All these things, O God, are conceived with forethought, born with
determination, nursed with exactness, governed by rules, directed
by reason, and then slain and buried after a prescribed method.
And even their silent graves that lie within the human soul are
marked and numbered.

It is a perfect world, a world of consummate excellence, a world of
supreme wonders, the ripest fruit in God's garden, the master-thought
of the universe.

But why should I be here, O God, I a green seed of unfulfilled
passion, a mad tempest that seeketh neither east nor west, a
bewildered fragment from a burnt planet?

Why am I here, O God of lost souls, thou who art lost amongst the gods?



If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
- Anon

The edge of the world does not look far away, to that I am on my way running.
- Papago Indian song for a young girl

"All of the people I could be, they got fewer and fewer until finally they got reduced to only one — and that's who I am. The weather man."
- David in "The Weatherman"

I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.
- Marcus Cole , "Babylon 5 "

"Who am I? I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all that I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am everything that happens after I've gone that would not have happened if I had not come.... to understand me you must swallow a world."
- Salman Rushdie, "Midnight's Children"

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
- Saul Bellow

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
- Oscar Wilde, "The Portrait of Mr. W.H."

Two often mentioned motivations for travels are to see another world and to disappear. In that sense, a journey in the footsteps of someone who disappeared in search of another world was the perfect journey.
- Nicholas Jubber, "The Prester Quest"

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
- Margaret Mead

"The people you care about you never really say goodbye to."
- MTV's "The Real World"

Basically, I have this theory that there are five kinds of truth. There is the truth you tell to casual strangers and acquaintances. There is the truth you tell to your general circle of friends and family members. There is the truth you tell to only one or two people in your entire life. There is the truth you tell to yourself. And finally, there is the truth that you do not admit even to yourself.
- JMS's Theory Of The Five Truths

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

Those of you who think that you know everything are particularly annoying to those of us who do.
- Anon

Once I dreamed I was a butterful, and now I no longer know whether I am Chuang Tzu, who dreamed I was a butterfly, or whether I am a butterful dreaming that I am Chuang Tzu.
- Chuang Tzu


The trouble with being a young female is that you have to sound like Hermione Grainger in the classroom and look like Beyonce on a night out. This standard of perfection is so excessiev that it's taking a terrible toll.
- Medb Ruane, "The Irish Independent"

I’ve never liked the Valentine’s Day holiday. Our culture celebrates romantic love morning, noon, and night 364 days a year – and then sets aside one special day every February to really rub the lovelesses’ noses in it. Not so nice. So: if you are lucky enough to have a sweetheart, of course you must kiss her (or him) today. But if you want to do a good deed, give a thought to the many lonely people around you: the divorced, the widowed, the unlucky – and maybe, if you have a spare dollar or two, you might want to send a small anonymous bouquet to one of them. Oh – and send it to the office, where everybody can see.
- David Frum

"Why am I always at, uh, weddings, and never actually getting married, now?"
"It's probably 'cause you're a bit scruffy. Or it could also be 'cause you haven't met the right girl."
"Ah, but you see, is that it? Maybe I have met the right girls. Maybe I meet the right girls all the time. Maybe it's me. "
- "Four Weddings & A Funeral

"I'm quite certain that to to make you happy, look after you, and keep you safe is the purpose of my life."
- Jerry Burton, second-time lucky with the girl of his dreams, "Miss Marple: The Moving Finger"

"You make me want to be a better man."
"That's maybe the best compliment of my life."
"Well maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out. "
- Melvin Udall & Carol, "As Good As It Gets"

"Love is when you look into someone's eyes and suddenly you go all the way inside, to their soul, and you both know instantly. I always imagined I'd fall in love nursing a blind soldier who was wounded in battle. Or maybe while rescuing someone in the middle of a blizzard, seconds before the avalanche hits. I thought at least by the age of 15 I'd have a love life, but I don't even have a _like_ life."
- Angela, "My So Called Life"

"I have to believe that it works...that when two people come together they stay together. I have to take that to bed with me at night even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism."
-Ally, "Ally McBeal"

"You would be the greatest choice I would ever make."
- Andy to Nina on "Everwood"



"Look at it mathematically. If just one person hooks up with somebody who isn't their soulmate, you got a chain reaction that screws it up for everybody on the planet."
- Jonesy to David, "Buying the Cow"

"I realized at that moment, there is no such thing as the one. it's more of a mind boggling whole hell of a lot of pontential ones, and while that should be comforting, it's actually pretty terrifying. We'd all like to kick back, and wait for some magical force to show us who we should spend the rest of our lives with, but the truth is there isn't a lightning bolt that slaps you on the ass and tells you to pick this person over all others. If anything its like the rain. Rain falls all the time, sometimes you're prepared for it, sometimes you're not, and depending on where you are when it hits you either get caught in it, or you dont. In fact most of us try like hell to avoid it. You might miss the bus, you might catch the bus. Maybe you remembered your umbrella, maybe you didn't. No big signs just random torrential bursts of opportunity."
- David, "Buying the Cow"

Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always.
- Dante

Love? Pah. Overrated. Here, look, these are my three wives: Pestilence, Famine and Death. Do you think I married them for their personalities? Their personalities could shatter entire planets! Arranged marriages, every one, but they worked out. They inspired me. Knowing that they are waiting at home for me is what keeps me here -- 75 light years away.
- Londo, "Babylon 5 - The War Prayer"

And then the question dreaded by all singletons, "How's the love life?"
- Bridget, "Bridget Jones's Diary"



In her own special category, she was quite beautiful. This was the category of all the women, in his entire life, who had ever thought he was worth smiling at.
- Terry Pratchett, "Guards! Guards!"

Sorry. I thought I recognized landmarks in your face, felt familiar contours along the bones of your hand, caught a cry that tore in flight across your voice. Forgive me for staring. Someone I knew once lived there.
- Leslie Crutchfield Tompkins

I discovered that rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, "To hell with you."
- Saul Bellow

"She's got character, she doesn't even take it out on other people when she's having a bad day."
- Rob describes Laura, "High Fidelity"

Thursday, November 30, 2006

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

I didn’t really get the meaning of this song before , but yesterday after a conversation with a friend, I heard this on the radio and it all made sense …. This is more a diary entry for me ..and I’m the ‘brother’… though at times I may have been the ‘narrator’, but hopefully never someone who totally goes against the values mentioned in the song ... So help me God. What strikes me most are these lines -

If I'm laden at all, I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness
Of love, for one another .



HE AINT HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER – The Hollies
2 weeks at #1 - 11 weeks on chart

The road is long, with many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I'm strong, strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go, his welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know, he would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all, I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness
Of love, for one another

It's a long, long road, from which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Some Recepies..


Copyright :Spice Corner

Sometimes a post comes along and I just HAVVVE to plug it ….but this is an entire blog I want to plug.. seems like it already has a fan following …


Any way here’s Sups’ cooking blog…great 'Karnatakan' and Indian recipes for the day when I can actually think of cooking … Supriya is my roommate from undergrad so we are peers but at this point (like with most of my peers) our passions diverge a little bit..she prepares Medu Vadas and Idlis from scratch … I microwave Amy’s Paneer Masala from Publix to get my ( barely) desi khana fix ….
It’s a fantabuloustic blog …

Friday, November 17, 2006

Words to live by

The Sufis advise us to speak only after our words have managed to pass through three gates. At the first gate, we ask ourselves, 'Are these words true?' If so, we let them pass on; if not, back they go. At the second gate, we ask, 'Are they necessary?' At the last gate, we ask, 'Are they kind?' -Eknath Easwaran (1911-1999)

- from my favorite quote book …. And here it is in its original context

Meditation by Eknath Easwaran
Chapter 5, Training the Senses
Section 7 of 9

Selecting Entertainment


“……………………..In the name of hard-hitting communication, the media increasingly also offer us debased language – a few shopworn vulgarities, hauled out to serve every occasion. Presumably they are supposed to shock us, but what I find shocking is that people will allow the full range of their expressiveness to be encapsulated in a few stale interjections. It may seem old-fashioned, but I would recommend standing guard over the gate of the mouth to ensure that only the right kind of words come out. It is another form of sense training. Vulgar speech, sarcasm, gossip, even pointless chatter, should all be denied exit visas.

The Sufis capture this idea in a splendid metaphor. They advise us to speak only after our words have managed to issue through three gates. At the first gate we ask ourselves, “Are these words true?” If so, let them pass on; if not, back they go.

At the second gate, we ask, “Are they necessary?” They may be true, but it doesn’t follow that they have to be uttered; they must serve some meaningful purpose. Do they clarify the situation or help someone? Or do they strike a discordant or irrelevant note?

At the last gate we ask, “Are they kind?” If we still feel we must speak out, we need to choose words that will be supportive and loving, not words that embarrass or wound another person. All of us understand what blows can do to someone, but we do not realize that words can create a more painful injury, one that can last for many years. Nor do we understand the terribly destructive impact words can have on the consciousness of the person who uses them………………….”

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Indian Pop Art ....and then some..........

Gotta Louuuve Indian Calendar Art ( nothing makes me as nostalgic as the familiar drawings from waay back that I don’t get to see anymore!!! )…Googled Indian Calendar Art and Indian Pop Culture to find the following :









From here and here and here.

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Has anybody else used those educational paper ‘charts’?!?! (I always thought of charts as something involving thick paper ) the ones made of flimsy paper and we’d cut out relevant pictures and paste in our notebooks as kids…pretty neat they were….








They usually were of national leaders or national monuments or national scientists, sometimes domestic animals , national flower(s), types of houses ..and I’m racking my brain to think of the various pictures I had pasted on school books over the years.. wonder if they still make them...
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Let’s stick with nostalgia for a bit …here are some print ads I remember from my Amar Chitra Katha’s , Tinkles, Chandamama’s, Champaks , the Indian Disney comics, and a couple of Mandrake comics I own ….










The above are from the following AWESOME sites this one (Great online desi vintage ad archive) and this one ( Really neat site for people who grew up in 1980’s India ;but some of the content isn’t exactly kid friendly!!!)
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Anyhooo back to the present…………….. aren’t the following pictures really Cute!!! Awwww................




Check out the website here .

True Love(Poem)

True Love

True love. Is it normal
is it serious, is it practical?
What does the world get from two people
who exist in a world of their own?

Placed on the same pedestal for no good reason,
drawn randomly from millions but convinced
it had to happen this way - in reward for what?
For nothing.
The light descends from nowhere.
Why on these two and not on others?
Doesn't this outrage justice? Yes it does.
Doesn't it disrupt our painstakingly erected principles,
and cast the moral from the peak? Yes on both accounts.

Look at the happy couple.
Couldn't they at least try to hide it,
fake a little depression for their friends' sake?
Listen to them laughing - its an insult.
The language they use - deceptively clear.
And their little celebrations, rituals,
the elaborate mutual routines -
it's obviously a plot behind the human race's back!

It's hard even to guess how far things might go
if people start to follow their example.
What could religion and poetry count on?
What would be remembered? What renounced?
Who'd want to stay within bounds?

True love. Is it really necessary?
Tact and common sense tell us to pass over it in silence,
like a scandal in Life's highest circles.
Perfectly good children are born without its help.
It couldn't populate the planet in a million years,
it comes along so rarely.

Let the people who never find true love
keep saying that there's no such thing.

Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.

-- Wislawa Szymborska

Live your best Life (TM -O magazine!)

"The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no third-class carriages, and one soul is as good as another."
-- George Bernard Shaw, "Pygmalion," act 5

Interesting Video from the Dove Campaign...

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/

Monday, November 13, 2006

Behind the Veil

Barkha Dutt

Managing Editor, NDTV 24x7

Saturday, October 28, 2006:

It's the classic cliché: meek eyes staring out from behind miles of cloth; the grim black color making the perfect style statement for suppression.

But is it really that simple?

Is the veil a symbol of equality or entrapment? Does it stand for religious freedom or retrograde ritualism? At a time when the globalisation bulldozer is swiftly flattening out individuality and turning us all into assembly line productions, is the veil a healthy assertion of multiculturalism? Or is it simply sexist in the extreme?

Jack Straw, England's former foreign secretary, kick-started the row when he declared that he would prefer Muslim women in Britain to completely discard the full veil. Salman Rushdie was even more blunt: the veil, he said, "sucks" and was just another way of taking "power away from women".

And Tony Blair joined the chorus: the time had come, he said, to step outside the boundaries of political correctness and debate the place of the veil in a modern, secular society.

So which side of the debate are you on?

I have to confess that despite being an unabashed liberal feminist, I'm pretty confused.

Sure, I'm instinctively revolted by religious dogma and sickened by the subtext: stifle female sexuality in swathes of impenetrable dark cloth. I have always argued that certain principles of equality must override and supersede religion. So while Jack Straw's comments were restricted to the niqab that cloaks women from head to toe, personally I find even the hijab or the headscarf scarily suggestive of subservience.

But it disturbs me only as much as the ghungat in Hindu homes of rural India or the feudal chic of urban socialites who dress up in fancy chiffons and pearls and then demurely drape their heads and reach for their husband's feet if required. The veil offends my notion of equality just as much as temples that deny entry to women or churches that believe priesthood to be the preserve of men.

The fact is that gender is always on the wrong side of faith. And so by definition, the classic feminist position is always at loggerheads with tradition.

The problem as many feminists (including myself) have discovered is this: our ideology often doesn't have the width for the world's complexities. It ignores socio-economic realities and how inextricably culture and identity are linked.

In real life, context is everything: and the truth alters as the context shifts.

I remember being in Kashmir in 2001. A shadowy militant group was trying to push women behind a blanket of black: the veil was being enforced in a valley where many women traditionally never wore it. Outspoken young girls went on record to protest the infringement of their freedom and the distortion of their culture. As we aired these reports on television, a fatwa was slapped on my head warning me against traveling to the state.

A few months later, 9/11 shook the world, and I was in New York. This time, there were threats too, but of an entirely different kind. Muslim women were being compelled to discard the safety and comfort of the hijab.

At the city’s community center for Arab-Americans, social workers were advising women to dress in a way that would blend them into the mainstream: no headscarves, skirts and dresses, if possible. At a peace vigil, I met a Bangladeshi woman who suddenly broke down and wept; it was the first time she had stepped out her house without wearing the customary salwar-kameez.

Freedom had really become another word for nothing left to lose. And suddenly what could have been a symbol of oppression in another place, at another time, had transformed into an emblem of religious pride.

So when Jack Straw says that the full veil is a "mark of separation" and a custom that segregates the community, it raises all sorts of other questions. The assimilation debate is always a dangerous one; must Muslims conform to an anglicised notion of dress to be considered regular people?

London-based journalist Zaiba Malik was one such "integrated" Muslim who had never worn a veil before, but decided to conduct a little experiment. She shrouded herself in black and walked across the city. Among the slew of comments heaped upon her: "You Paki terrorist, go back home".

Reading about her experience, I thought that one remark would have enraged me enough to want to wear the veil forever.

On the other hand, there is also no doubt that across the world, there is a crisis of modernity and leadership in Muslim communities. As terrorism plunges the world into a Samuel Huntington styled clash of civilizations, Mr Straw is right in saying that cities must not be split into self-contained ghettoes. The question is this: did his controversial remarks actually end up achieving exactly that?

There are no simple answers. Modern politics has got caught in the polarisations of the West vs Islam battle, and the modern gender debate is tragically trapped in extremes as well.

Read the furious bloggers on Jack Straw’s comments. One of them, a young Muslim, demands to know: "What are Straw's views on teenage pregnancy, on young girls going out dressed in next to nothing?"

Beyond the obvious cultural clash, the comment got me thinking. Would there ever have been a public debate over whether women dressed in handkerchief skirts and bikini blouses were appropriate role models?

Of course not.

Today we believe women have traveled a long way because we are able to flaunt our sexuality and strut our stuff. To question to that is to be labelled prudish and backward. And yet, I often wonder, is this progress or merely the circle completing itself?

The debate reminds me of one of my favourite stories, one, some readers of this column would have heard before. I first met "item girl" Momed Khan during the recording of a television show on censorship. The sultry, long-haired, short-skirted Momed, best-known for her seductive serenade in the hit song Dekh Le, sprang to her feet, and pointed aggressively at the skirt riding up her leg.

This is what women wanted to be, she said, almost yelling. The age of the salwar-kameez was over. As the audience applauded, I thought: here's a 19-year old Muslim woman from conservative Lucknow, in Thackeray's Mumbai, defying convention and norm. That seemed pretty radical by any standard.

Yet I kept thinking: What did she really stand for? The manufactured sexuality, the crafted coquettishness — it seemed to me that we had just gone and replaced an old stereotype with a new one. Had she turned up draped in a full veil instead, would she have been a different woman beneath the black?

Somehow I'm not so sure.

Modernity is a confusing business, and sometimes moving forward is the same as going back.

A question of faith

I’m at a stage of my life where I have to restore conviction that there is someone one looking out for me .. and in the end things will be alright…..

I truly believe that faith can move mountains .This conviction has guided me through most of life ..but a couple of years ago I became sort of blasé about the whole thing.. there are something’s in life that you just cant change… or things just not meant to be, or so I thought …...

Anyway I’ve recovered some hope and have started reading Norman Vincent Peale books and such like to get back the power of Positive Thinking..

It's good to have purpose to cling to in trying times ..something that you know if all the mountains come crashing down will still exist… I alluded to a lack of purpose in an earlier post ..purpose can mean ambition , strong love for a person or for god ..


Faith is a powerful and beneficial concept , but it can be negative at times ; I got to thinking about this after watching an episode of Law and Order SVU.. the story was about a lady who commits murder because of her faith in a person who we find out in the end doesn’t exist ( this imaginary person was a work of con artists ) …So faith drew this seemingly well adjusted ,well educated woman to murder ….

But it was misplaced faith… we all know about cases of misplaced faith , from my real life experiences I can state the examples of people who turn their back on family and close friends at the insistence of jerk best friends and lovesofthierlife , only to realize at the end that they had given on up on the people who truly cared for them .And jerk lovers/best friends being the way that they are; disappear when it comes down to the crunch ….This is of course an example on a small personal scale on a larger scale it could involve people drawn into malicious cults ,terrorist groups etc etc…

What happens to people who don’t end up in prison, or don’t get blown up , or aren’t left friendless and desolate….because of strong faith and belief in an undeserving cause??? They lose the ability to believe in worthy causes i.e. themselves, love, God……

I was spurred to write this post after Reading about this game in Aswin’s Blog ..found out about the post via Sharath…
Aswin asks :
Can you imagine ever having such a cause or Ideology in your life that you are ready to die for ? Your cause could be Absolutely Anything. I don't mean just Religion, Idea, etc - Your cause could be as noble as 'Ending poverty', or it could be as personal as curing your loved one's illness, it could even be something fictional like bringing someone back to life(?) , it could be, like I said, Absolutely Anything.


He goes further and reduces the penalty from Death , to years in prison to giving up all your wealth , education , memory ..to find out how much a person would be willing to forsake and for what cause

Here’s my comment :

Hi Aswin , Got the link to this post via Sharath, very thought provoking!!!

I wouldn’t die for a cause, because I believe life is precious and I don’t like to encourage suicidal tendencies of any sort..

Would I die to save a loved one??… Maybe, that would be the only instance I would consider this option ..Die to save a hundred dying people ?? ( maybe if it unequivocally resulted in their survival)
Would I die for my Country , Religion ,State or Planet??

…A resounding NO!! I believe all these disputes are politically motivated and everyone’s life is more precious than giving in to the whims of manipulative powerful people.. it’s the same as the case of the Indian soldier who died in Iraq fighting for the US army ..He only recently migrated to the States… and was brought up in India ..God Bless his Soul, but it wasn’t his war to die fighting … Maybe in an Armageddon situation, a war against planets, I would consider joining an army. The job of the United Nations and Peaceniks like me is to ensure that no world wars occur.. the world is no longer as isolated and countries and people aren’t as disconnected as they once were..

I would however risk my all my money ,incur the wrath of my friends , possibly switch careers to stick to my personal beliefs i.e. : open mindedness, the war against bigots , individualism, family ties and self respect .
I would also contribute as much as I could to the elimination of poverty.
This is starting to look like a letter :)
Regards,
N

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A New Direction......

I don’t remember watching any American non presidential elections happening… ( I’ve always tried to follow Presidential elections,via my parents ..and they are always exciting )..but I spent the entire evening today watching CNN…… nail biter to say the least….

Living for the past two years in one of the more republican (if not the most republican) of American States…I realized that not all Americans think like Hollywood ( ok I’m not being serious here ;)) , I also realized that the heart of America was probably more conservative than I was…. But these two years didn’t particularly endear me to the Republican Party… so watching the Dem’s win the house is elating ..seeing the first female speaker in the history ( from ‘San Francisco’ and all the liberal connotations involved in that…) of the United States being chosen ( can you imagine for a country which has taken many strides for female empowerment , there hasn’t been a lady in this high a position ( next in line after Vice –President) let alone being president ( but now is a good time as any to start)…..

So this is the first national victory for the democratic party after 12 years; the time line goes like this- Bill Clinton’s impeachment , Dubya taking charge, September 11, the war on terror and the second Iraq war…. Yup definitely the American people could do with a change ( the years with the Republican stronghold weren’t too great )…..A lot has been said about lack of charismatic leadership in the Democratic Party, but on the other hand you’ve got Dubyaman ( who’s only saving grace was acting ultra conservative )!!?!?!

Right now the Senate race is still undecided..Virginia with ‘Macaca’ Allen ..in a neck to neck………. All very exciting .. maybe during my next year in America ,there will be more open minded people in Government ….and hopefully that seeps into the mainstream…

I guess as an Indian Citizen I shouldn’t be too bothered with what happens …but as someone brought up in the Middle East , from India and presently in the US .. I know how far reaching the Governmental situation in the United States is… I hope it isn’t too much wishful thinking to hope for a Democratic President in 2008.

12 Days of Christmas

What the …… but it is funny…
First of all the guy has an ambiguous accent like Apu from the Simpsons…. If these are in fact desiboys singing why can’t they impersonate an Indian accent properly??
Nonetheless it IS funny, and really good animation, listen till the end!!!…. If you haven’t checked it already from Sepia Mutiny..Here is a Desi Version of the popular X’mas carol Twelve Days of Christmas….Enjaaai??!?!!!!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Celebration

Thanks to Mich for the fwd... the hostel/maggi noodle lines bought back memories.. :)

enjoy people.....



Celebration means......

A winter evening.
Four friends.
One barsaat.
Four glasses of chai.

(OR)

Hundred bucks of gas.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.

(OR)

Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 a.m.

(OR)

3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.

(OR)

Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.

(OR)

You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
Gossiping about absent family members.


You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,

but to celebrate
all you have to do is spend your Time .

Keep in touch with your loved ones

Theres more to Me and You!!!!

‘There’s more to me’ ..Well I did mean all of the lines in that poem.. I was getting more than a little tired of people assuming things about me , based on a few facts and not the whole..(which is more than the sum of the parts)..anyway Sharath has been kind enough to mention the poem in his blog.. here’s his entry followed by my comment….


Anything more to know ?
Natasha's blog which I frequent (frequently!) has a few nice words up there.

I know its a poem, maybe she doesnt ( or perhaps she does ) expect me to take it literally. But think about it - if you were to describe to person A all the attributes of another unknown person B that Natasha says are not the only attributes that matters, A will still have a really really good idea about the person that B is !! ( books, significant relationships, failures, where u grew up, good/bad habits, overriding passions, job etc. etc. )

Yes, I agree that there will still be lots of 'undescribables' about people - there is nothing like knowing a person for a length of time. But undescribable doesnt mean undeterminable - many of those undescribables will already be determined by all the attributes Natasha has covered.

Besides, the extent to which we intend to know a person depends on at what level, for what duration we deal with her/him. To be fair to Natasha, she is probably talking about intimate people in one's life, presumably what you need to know before you choose a spouse or so, in which case that would be more accurate.


My comment:

Interesting take Sharath!!! When I wrote those lines I meant precisely that people cannot make assumptions based on all those attributes listed …… I guess I was talking about the intangible stuff you mention later… all the above mentioned tangibles do play a part in influencing what you are inside.. but I believe that there is more to a person than man made categories, when I wrote this I was of a mindset that there are only certain parts of myself that I show to people ,or only certain attributes of myself that some people choose to see in me … this will not give an accurate representation of who I am … and this isn’t only for really deep life long relationships ..if acquaintances saw me as more than just the sum of these attributes. .I’d be grateful for it!!!!
Having said that , I have to admit that I may be guilty of analyzing people using only characteristics mentioned above .i.e guy/girl, black/white, etc etc


P.S. I made it a point to mention all the generalisations people make that i could think of :)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

There is no word yet for old friends who have just met

I have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, in 1913

I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
--J.D.Salinger, from The Catcher in the Rye

In later life, as in earlier, only a few persons influence the formation of our character; the multitude pass us by like a distant army. One friend, one teacher, one beloved, one club, one dining table, one work table are the means by which one's nation and the spirit of one's nation affect the individual.
-- Jean Paul Richter


Two step formula for handling stress:
1. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2. Remember that it's all small stuff.
--Anthony Robbins


When one loves somebody, everything is clear - where to go, what to do - it all takes care of itself and one doesn't have to ask anybody about anything.
--Maxim Gorky

We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
-- e. e. cummings


Serendipity -The pleasant surprise of happening upon a fortunate discovery when you weren't in search of it.
Coined by Henry Walpole in The Princess of Serendip (Ceylon), (1754)

Here today, up and off somewhere else tomorrow! Travel, change, interest, excitement!
Mr. Toad in The Wind in the Willows (1908) by Kenneth Grahame

Even Santa Claus believes in YOU, Can you picture that?
from 'Can You Picture That?' sung in The Muppet Movie (1979), by Jim Henson's Muppets

There is no word yet for old friends who have just met.
from The Muppet Movie (1979)

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.
from Orthodoxy (1908) by G. K. Chesteron

We are the music makers,
We are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams; --
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
We are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
Ode by Arthur O'Shaughnessy (1844-1881)

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
from The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry (William Sidney Porter) (1862-1910)

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: 'It might have been.'
from Maud Muller (1856) by John Greenleaf Whittier (1807-1892)

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
* W. Somerset Maugham


True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.
* François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

There’s more to me …..

There’s more to me than my skin tone..
There's more to me than my problem skin!!!!
There’s more to me than the places I’ve visited …
There’s more to me than the exams I’ve managed to clear and the degrees I have..


There’s more to me than the people I know…


There's more to me than the sports i (don't)play...
There's more to me than the parties I go to...
There's (slightly) more to me than my overriding passions....
There's more to me than my good (or bad) habits...


There’s more to me than the caste (community) I was born in ………
There’s more to than which school I went (go ) to……………………
There’s more to me than the way my hair looks on a bad day……………
There's more to me than my jobs........
There’s more to me than being my parents’ daughter………….
There’s more to me than being my sister’s sister………..


There’s more to me than the people I hang out with……….
There’s more to me than my failures…………..
There’s more to me than being an “Indian” .………..
There’s more to me than my mother tongue or the languages I speak …………….


There’s more to me than my choice of diet ……………………..
There’s more to me than the amount of makeup that I (don’t ) wear……….
There’s more to me than my measurements………..
There’s more to me than the way I look………..


There’s more to me than the books I’ve read and songs I listen to………..
There’s more to me than the way I speak……………
There’s more to me than my age……….
There's’ more to me than my religion…………
There's more to me than my relationship status...........


There’s more to me than my significant relationships or friendships ………………
There’s more to me than the clothes I wear……………
There's more to me than my bank balance…….
There’s more to me than how “cool” people think I am (not)………………

There’s more to me than your opinion of me……………

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

I’ve been checking emails after a looong time and finally got to watching this video a friend sent …Thanks Friend!!! Watch it…a smile/hug costs nothing but means so much!!!! Very Chicken soup for the soul ..and check the oprah link on youtube as well….

Friday, November 03, 2006

100 Greatest Songs Of The '80s

This is why I LOVE VH1.... they do these awesome retro countdowns, and play music videos that aren’t exactly the current hot thing…. I miss that about music channels ( what does a girl have to do to watch some old videos!!) anyway I’m watching the show right now , saw it yesterday as well.. thank goodness people at this site complied a list.. otherwise I would have made one myself !!!!..highlighted are songs I haven’t heard or don’t recall hearing…( actually there are quite a few i havent heard..just havent highlighted them all ;))..Again AWESOME list!!!!

100 Greatest Songs Of The '80s

.
(Vh1) "100 Greatest Songs Of The '80s," the five-part program will countdown classics from '80s icons like Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, New Edition, Journey, Guns N' Roses and Duran Duran. With 44, 000 votes received, the list was determined by an online poll at vh1.com where viewers had the opportunity to pick their favorite songs from the '80s whether it was rock, pop, rap or R&B. Join VH1 as it counts down the coolest, gnarliest and most awesome songs of the decade that gave us hip-hop and hair metal. Premiering with back-to-back episodes on Monday, October 30 at 9 PM*, "100 Greatest Songs Of The '80s" brings viewers each tune's back-story told through new, original interviews with the musicians who created them, as well as the legendary artists they inspired. In the tradition of VH1's hit "100 Greatest" specials, the show features archival clips, classic performances, plus exclusive interviews from Chaka Khan, Deborah Gibson, Dee Snider, Jordan Knight, Bananarama, Bret Michaels, Terri Nunn, Darryl McDaniels, Rikki Rachtman, John Oates, Def Leppard, Young M.C., Jane Wiedlin, INXS, Fred Schneider, Joe Perry, Stephen Pearcy, Jack Blades, Barenaked Ladies, Chris Booker, John Cena, Mark McGrath, former MTV VJ Nina Blackwood among many others. Episodes 3 - 5 of the countdown will premiere Tuesday - Thursday at 10 PM*


01 Bon Jovi / "Livin' on a Prayer" 1986
02 Def Leppard / "Pour Some Sugar On Me" 1987
03 Duran Duran / "Hungry Like the Wolf" 1982
04 Michael Jackson / "Billie Jean" 1982
05 Prince / "When Doves Cry" 1984
06 Hall & Oates / "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" 1981
07 Guns N' Roses / Sweet Child O' Mine 1987
08 Madonna / "Like a Virgin" 1984
09 Run-D.M.C. / "Walk This Way" 1986
10 AC/DC / "You Shook Me All Night Long" 1980
11 Journey / Don't Stop Believin' 1981
12 Whitney Houston / "How Will I Know" 1985
13 U2 / "With Or Without You" 1984
14 The Bangles / "Walk Like an Egyptian" 1986
15 Van Halen / "Jump" 1984
16 INXS / "Need You Tonight" 1987
17 Whitesnake / "Here I Go Again" 1982
18 Dexy's Midnight Runners / "Come On Eileen" 1982
19 Cyndi Lauper / "Time after Time" 1984
20 Rick Springfield / "Jessie's Girl" 1981
21 Michael Jackson / "Beat It" 1982
22 The Cure / "Just Like Heaven" 1987
23 Cyndi Lauper / "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" 1984
24 A-Ha / "Take On Me" 1985
25 Go-Go's / "Our Lips Are Sealed" 1981
26 Guns N' Roses / "Welcome to the Jungle" 1987
27 Kajagoogoo / "Too Shy" 1984
28 Wham! / "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" 1984
29 Talking Heads / Burning Down the House 1983
30 Pat Benatar / "Love is a Battlefield" 1983
31 Queen and David Bowie / "Under Pressure" 1981
32 Night Ranger / "Sister Christian" 1983
33 Soft Cell / "Tainted Love" 1981
34 Poison / "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" 1988
35 Phil Collins / "In the Air Tonight" 1981
36 Tommy Tutone / "867-5309 / Jenny" 1981
37 Aerosmith / "Janie's Got a Gun" 1989
38 U2 / "Pride (In the Name of Love)" 1984
39 Modern English / "I Melt With You" 1982
40 The B-52's / "Love Shack" 1989
41 Mötley Crüe / "Dr. Feelgood" 1989
42 The Clash / "London Calling" 1982
43 ABC / "Look of Love (Part One)" 1982
44 Bananarama / "Cruel Summer" 1984
45 Janet Jackson / "Nasty" 1986
46 The Police / "Every Breath You Take" 1983
47 Twisted Sister / "We're Not Gonna Take It" 1984
48 Bruce Springsteen / "Born in the U.S.A." 1984
49 Beastie Boys / "Fight For Your Right" 1986
50 Eurythmics / "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" 1983
51 Ratt / "Round and Round" 1984
52 Dead or Alive / "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)" 1985
53 Billy Idol / "White Wedding" 1988
54 Salt-N-Pepa / "Push It" 1986
55 A Flock of Seagulls / "I Ran (So Far Away)" 1982
56 Bonnie Tyler / "Total Eclipse of the Heart" 1983
57 Toni Basil / "Mickey" 1981
58 Culture Club / "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" 1982
59 John Mellencamp / "Jack & Diane" 1982
60 Young M.C. / "Bust a Move" 1989
61 Styx / "Mr. Roboto" 1983
62 Berlin / "Take My Breath Away" 1986
63 Devo / "Whip It" 1980
64 Paula Abdul / "Straight Up" 1988
65 Foreigner / "I Want to Know What Love Is" 1984
66 Depeche Mode / "Just Can't Get Enough" 1981
67 REO Speedwagon / "Keep On Loving You" 1980
68 Public Enemy / "Fight the Power" 1988
69 R.E.M / "It's The End of the World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine)" 1980
70 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts/ "I Love Rock N' Roll" 1981
71 Rick James / "Super Freak" 1981
72 The Fixx / "One Thing Leads to Another" 1983
73 Nena / "99 Luftbaloons" 1983
74 George Michael / "Faith" 1987
75 Prince / "Little Red Corvette" 1983
76 Thomas Dolby / "She Blinded Me With Science" 1982
77 New Edition / "Candy Girl" 1983
78 Blondie / "Call Me" 1980
79 Human League / "Don't You Want Me?" 1981
80 Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock / "It Takes Two" 1988
81 Cameo / "Word Up!" 1986
82 Squeeze / "Tempted" 1981

83 Prince / "Kiss" 1986
84 Lionel Richie / All Night Long (All Night) 1983
85 Robert Palmer / "Addicted to Love" 1985
86 Bow Wow Wow / "I Want Candy" 1982
87 Falco / "Rock Me Amadeus 1986
88 Chaka Khan / "Ain't Nobody" 1989
89 The Pretenders / "Brass in Pocket" 1980
90 Tone-Loc / "Wild Thing" 1989
91 Katrina and The Waves / "Walking On Sunshine" 1983
92 New Kids on the Block / "You Got It (The Right Stuff) 1988
93 Gary Numan / "Cars" 1980
94 The Rolling Stones / "Start Me Up" 1981
95 Debbie Gibson / "Only in My Dreams" 1987
96 Men at Work / "Down Under" 1982
97 The Romantics / "What I Like About You" 1980
98 Bobby Brown / "My Perogative" 1988
99 Wang Chung / "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" 1986
100 Loverboy / "Working for the Weekend" 1981

Sar Kiye Yeh Pahar - Strings

Hindi movies and movie songs kick ass( most of the time…) but when it comes to rock songs and TV serials …our friends across the border do a better job!!! I mean I’m listening to this compilation of songs from Pakistan and they sound so good.. sounds like rock and roll and its in Urdu/ Hindi ( which is the same thing really.. Pakistani neighbors have asked my mom and dad “ Aap itni acchi Urdu kaise bolte hai?? “ ..(of course they wouldn’t say the same thing to me)…… anyway was listening to Sar ki yeh hai pahar after maybe 12-13 years…Awesome song..Good thing the boys from Strings are still rocking :D

Edison Lighthouse - Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)

I soooooooooooooooooo will marry the person who sings/records/dedicates this song to me ;)……………………………or maybe not……………..:D

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)
By: Edison Lighthouse
(Barry Mason - Tony Macaulay)
1970


She ain't got no money
Her clothes are kinda funny
Her hair is kinda wild and free
Oh but love grows where my Rosemary goes
And nobody knows like me


She talks kinda lazy
And people say she's crazy
And her life's a mystery
Oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes
And nobody knows like me


There's something about her hand holding mine
It's a feeling that's fine
And I just gotta say (hey!)
She's really got a magical spell
And it's working so well
That I can't get away


I'm a lucky fella
And I just got to tell her
That I love her endlessly
Because love grows where my Rosemary goes
And nobody knows like me


There's something about her hand holding mine
It's a feeling that's fine
And I just gotta say (hey!)
She's really got a magical spell
And it's working so well
That I can't get away
I'm a lucky fella
And I just got to tell her
That I love her endlessly
Because love grows where my Rosemary goes
And nobody knows like me


Fadeout:
It keeps growing every place she's been
And nobody knows like me
If you've met her, you'll never forget her
And nobody knows like me
La la la- believe it when you've seen it
(Nobody knows like me)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Walk the Line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line
-Johnny Cash

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Long Way Around

Artist/Band: Dixie Chicks

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

Mostly Imagination...

Some thoughts since my last post :D…….

I was speaking with a friend, she was telling me about her plans for her 30th birthday. she must be 21 years old ..I just realize I have some 4 and half more years to my 30th bday…anyway one idea she had was to go to Antarctica to celebrate… which I think is pretty cool , another idea was that if she wasn’t married/engaged by her 30th birthday…she would buy her self a right hand ring.. depending on who you are; you might have a different immediate reaction to this …though I rather like it…I don’t have to wait for someone to give me a nice ring!!! Like she said “ I know exactly what I don’t want…”

There was a good eight years 98-2004 a period in which I didn’t travel by air and kind of lost touch with air transport, I always liked traveling by airplane…seemed like a very once-in-a-while adventurous thing to do…at that point of time I would have thought that some one who said this was seriously over privileged and didn’t know what they are talking about.. but here goes and I’m saying it ..”I hate traveling by airplanes”…already closed window car journeys make me sick…. Add to that five hour journeys by plane or horror of horrors the 16 hr journey from the US to India….. maybe I’ve grown bigger since I was a kid, but the airlines are seriously more cramped…. American airline food totally sucks ( if you call a soft drink and pack of pretzels a meal)…give me back those one and a half hour plane journeys from Dubai to India…..


My mom read my blog for the first time this week (thank you broadband)cover to cover for a few hours , , she liked my “I miss my mom when I have to clean the bathroom”..so Hi Mom!!!.. to everyone else….. yeah…whatever…….

The past few years I’ve been jumping from one unexpected place to another…where next I wonder ……………….


One of my pet peeves are people who lack any imagination whatsoever( I on the other hand. .have a rather overactive imagination)…I feel bad for people who lack the imagination to see what possibilities lie ahead for them or what they are capable of.. and I totally despise people who lack the imagination to see what other people are capable of….

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Of Irish Blessings, Goodbyes and then some...

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
traditional gaelic blessing

“May those who love us, love us; and those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.”

Irish Blessings

“May God grant you always...A sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you.”

Irish Blessings

“May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day. May songbirds serenade you every step along the way. May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue. And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.”

Irish Blessings


“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.”

Irish Blessings


“May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far”

Irish Blessings

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”

Snoopy quotes (Fictional character from the comic strip Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)


“Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

Richard Bach quotes (American Writer, author of 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull', b.1936)

“You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again”

Tom Petty quotes (American Guitarist and Singer (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers) b.1950)

“You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."”

Tom Petty

“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

“Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems”
Billy Joel quotes (American Pianist, Singer and Song Writer, b.1949)


“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.”

Henry David Thoreau quotes (American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862)

“So many faces in and out of my life; some will last, some will be just now and then. Life is a series of hellos and good byes, I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again.”

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you. -Charlie Brown to Snoopy”
Snoopy quotes (Fictional character from the comic strip Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)


“Maybe I could have loved you better. Maybe you should have loved me more. Maybe our hearts were just next in line. Maybe everything breaks sometime.”
Jewel quotes (American Singer, Songwriter and Guitarist, b.1974)

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”


“Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.”
William Shakespeare quotes (English Dramatist, Playwright and Poet, 1564-1616)

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”
Theodore Isaac Rubin quotes (American Writer and psychiatrist, He has been a columnist for the Ladies Home Journal, since 1968. Wrote Lisa and David (1961). b.1923)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

That 70's Post...

I would have liked to have been present in the 1970’s.. that’s’ soooo my decade…. The bell bottoms, the message of peace and brotherly (or sisterly love) , the sepia photographs, the paisley prints, the age of the flower children , psychedelia, the big hair ( ok maybe that was the 80’s..),the music.. you get the general drift….


I LOVE 70’s music.. I would go back in time just to listen to those songs in the top 40 and continuous rotation .From the wiki

The 1970s saw various forms of pop music dominating the charts. Often characterized as being shallow, 70s pop took many forms and could be seen as a reaction against the high-energy and activist pop of the previous decade..


. I’m watching the infomercial for Time Music’s 70’s Music Compilation. Here’s a list of 70’s songs I got off the internet …


"Band Of Gold" - Freda Payne

"Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" - B.J. Thomas

"ABC" - The Jackson 5

"Let It Be" - The Beatles

"(They Long To Be) Close To You" - Carpenters

"It's Too Late" - Carole King

"Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)" - The Temptations

"Take Me Home, Country Roads" - John Denver

"Knock Three Times" - Dawn

"American Pie" - Don McLean

"Without You" - Nilsson

"Lean On Me" - Bill Withers

"Crocodile Rock" - Elton John

"My Love" - Paul McCartney & Wings

"Killing Me Softly With His Song" - Roberta Flack

"Seasons In The Sun" - Terry Jacks

"One Of These Nights" - Eagles

"Don't Go Breaking My Heart" - Elton John and Kiki Dee

"Play That Funky Music" - Wild Cherry

"Silly Love Songs" - Paul McCartney and Wings

"December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)" - The Four Seasons

"Best Of My Love" - The Emotions

"Night Fever" - Bee Gees

"YMCA" - Village People

"Too Much Heaven" - Bee Gees

"Hot Stuff" - Donna Summer


All in all a good decade for music and culture ...

Hello Blog!

Ok , I’m going to my middle of semester frequency of posts….which is not a bad thing… I believe blogs shouldn’t be forgotten (no matter how busy you are)..like any other serious endeavour it needs constant attention .So don’t worry blog… I shall not neglect you..
I suffer from a serious lack of inspiration of late..and Sharath’s post got me thinking…. Personally I feel I’ve come down with a severe case of foot in the mouthitis.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Anne of Green Gables

Which L.M. Montgomery Heroine are You?
Which L.M. Montgomery Heroine are You?


Anne of Green Gables is my favourite book ever( i stopped serious reading after the 10th grade :P)... i have all the books in the series..when we were growing up ..a friend described Anne as the person she most looked up to ( doesn't matter that she's fictional!!)

How Anne are You?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

A matter of trust

Who would’ve thought that people write songs like these!!!!!
A Matter of Trust

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust

I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're gonna face a moment of truth
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust

You can't go the distance
With too much resistance
I know you have doubts
But for God's sake don't shut me out

This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it
Whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
All I'll walk away a fool or a king
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until it's only a matter of time
And some might learn to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust

I'm sure you're aware love
We've both had our share of
Believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust.


-Billy Joel

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Mates: A literary history

Matching sock, erotic target or fellow damned soul chained to your wrist? From the Epic of Gilgamesh to Kundera, a guided tour of the Big Two.
By Gary Kamiya
October 14, 2003 |




Mate is a comfortable and companionable word. Its world exudes a kind of biological or metaphysical rightness: a place where human beings, like those smiling giraffes shown boarding the ark in tandem in children’s books, contentedly pair off forever. It is a cosmic laundry in which no sock ever goes missing.

But the aspirant to this mately heaven is haunted by fears of inadequacy. The founding myth of the mate, after all, derives from Plato’s Symposium. In that dialogue, one of the speakers, Aristophanes, asserts that the primordial race of men and women (and hermaphrodites, but to explore that would take us too far afield) was divided in half by Zeus. Ever since then, goes on Aristophanes—who, it should be noted, claims to be suffering from a severe hangover—we have been destined to search for our complementary halves, without which we will not be complete. In an age in which the soul-elevating yearnings and courtly ordeals of Provençal love have been replaced by sixty-second dating and sexual encounters negotiated on the Internet, this theory raises the bar of matedom dauntingly high. Hence, perhaps, the preference, in our modest age, for the neutral “husband” or “wife” or the still more poker-faced “partner,” which could refer as easily to the relationship between Ebenezer Scrooge and Jacob Marley as to that between Dante and Beatrice. Still the mate ideal beckons, like a horizon.

Of course, you cannot visit a horizon—which is one of the reasons why literature so rarely deals with long-term romantic relationships of the sort that could be characterized as mately. Byron anatomized this omission in Don Juan: “All tragedies are finished by a death, / All comedies are ended by a marriage; / The future states of both are left to faith, / For authors fear description might disparage / The worlds to come of both, or fall beneath, / And then both worlds would punish their miscarriage. . .” In Tristram Shandy, the first modern, smarty-pants novelist, Laurence Sterne, slyly alluded to the problem of depicting ideal happiness by inserting a blank page on which the reader could draw his beloved.

Throughout most of literary history, marriage—particularly happy marriage—might as well be one of those empty spots on old maps inscribed with the words “Here be monsters.” For every Kitty and Levin, the lovingly observed couple in Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina who find grace as they work their way together through life, there are hundreds of Karenins, Madame Bovarys, and Casaubons—a vast, dreary entourage of miserable spouses, doomed adulterers, and hideously mismatched souls. There are plenty of lusty young stallions crashing through fences, but very few mates grazing contentedly together in the meadow. As an old man, the Spanish philosopher Miguel de Unamuno said, “I do not feel anything when I brush against the legs of my wife, but mine ache if hers do.” Though existent, these kind of poignant observations are hard to find in fiction.

Some of this void can be attributed to the uninspiring historic reality of marriage, which until fairly recently could be summed up as a business deal with bad sex. But the reasons are deeper. Stories are driven by change, not permanence: once the hero and heroine make their safe harbor, the wind goes out of the story’s sails. From a narrative standpoint, happiness is boring—a truth summed up by Tolstoy’s famous dictum that “Happy families are all alike.”

There is also the uncomfortable possibility that mately happiness may be boring even to those allegedly enjoying it. We return to perhaps the world’s most depressing marriage counselor, Lord Byron, who wrote, “Tis melancholy, and a fearful sign / Of human frailty, folly, also crime, / That love and marriage rarely can combine, / Although they both are born in the same clime; / Marriage from love, / like vinegar from wine— / A sad, sour, sober beverage—by time / Is sharpen’d from its high celestial flavour / Down to a very homely household savour.”

Who would sing the joys of even the finest aged Modena balsamic when there are so many sweet young bottles of Taittinger yet to be popped? (Although it is worth noting that Georges Simenon, the great Belgian writer who claimed to have made love to ten thousand women, created one of the most memorably contented couples in literature in Inspector and Madame Maigret, who walk together in happy silence. Could it be that exhausting, Wilt Chamberlain-level promiscuity is required to direct a writer’s precious mental fluids toward consideration of mately bliss?)

But even if we reject Byron’s discouraging words and insist that mately love is more like aged Bordeaux than oxidized rotgut, there is a deeper reason that writers rarely explore it. Fiction’s “happily ever after” syndrome betrays its deep roots in fairy tales and fables—simple, archetypal forms that reveal both the eternal human drive to affirm a state of permanent happiness and the difficulty of doing so. Even the most sophisticated modern writers, who do not believe in fairy-tale endings, are still drawn to convey an irreducible and transcendent union between two people. But just as in fairy tales, they cut away at precisely the moment when it is to be revealed. It is as if only by looking away can one convey the unknown land denoted by the word “happiness.” Like Orpheus bringing Eurydice out of the underworld, it seems the novelist cannot look directly at love without losing it. The light flashes only out of fragments.

Sometimes writers act like officers of the Federal Reserve Bank of Language, attempting to increase the value of the l-word by restricting its circulation. In Czeslaw Milosz’s memoir Native Realm, for example, the word “love” appears, I believe, only once—as literally the last word in the book. It’s an extraordinary and unexpected move that falls like a thunderbolt. Or take the famous last sentence of The House of Mirth, when Lawrence Selden says goodbye to the dead Lily Bart: “He knelt by the bed and bent over her, draining their last moment to its lees; and in the silence there passed between them the word which made all clear.” The word, presumably, is “love.” But the fact that Wharton refuses to name it gives it far greater power. Silence breathes the ineffable.

The ending of Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being reveals another strategy of indirection. It attempts to resolve the question posed at the outset of the book: How can you know if your decision to settle down with one person is driven by love or sentimental exhaustion—what Kundera calls “hysteria”? The problem with questions like this is that once they are asked, there is almost never going to be a satisfactory answer. And the book’s protagonist, Tomas, is nothing if not a bed-hopper and question-asker. Kundera needs to assert that Tomas has experienced some kind of romantic epiphany that has made him choose Tereza once and for all, but he is also too sophisticated to be satisfied with that answer.

He falls back first on a venerable narrative device: prolepsis or foreshadowing. The reader is told that Tomas and Tereza are both going to die in a truck crash. This omniscient knowledge bathes their last scene in a golden glow; it becomes doubled, like a vista observed by a man with cancer uncertain he will ever see it again. Yet even with this doubling, which would perhaps have allowed Kundera to get away with a sentimental portrayal of marital happiness, he distances himself. “Tereza leaned her head on Tomas’s shoulder. Just as she had when they flew together in the airplane through the storm clouds. She was experiencing the same odd happiness and odd sadness as then. The sadness meant: we are at the last station. The happiness meant: we are together. The sadness was form, the happiness was content. Happiness filled the space of sadness.”

Which comes first, happiness or sadness? In this dialectical game of tag, in order for us to believe in the happiness that the author is asserting, it is also necessary for us not to believe in it. Without shadow, no light.

And then, having adjusted his chiaroscuro perfectly, the author in the book’s last lines retreats altogether and turns things over to the God of narrative. Tomas and Tereza retire to bed. A butterfly flies up. “The strains of the piano and violin came up weakly from below.” The greatest intimacy can only be communicated by the neutral turning of the world.

There is, of course, far more to the mately story than these kind of deconstructive and reconstructive finesses. Byron is wrong: not all comedies are ended with a marriage—many, in fact, begin with one. Marriage may be rarely chosen as a romantic subject, its intimacies and their meanings may be terra incognita, but it frequently serves as a kind of rumpus room, an arena where all the furniture can be wiped off, the laugh track is always going, and the wet bar is well stocked. Literature is filled with companionable, often jesting and jawboning mates, an endless procession of Nicks and Noras and Mr. and Mrs. Bennetts. Statistically, matedom is comic. But comic matedom is simply taken for granted, as background; it no longer has any meaning, any fizz. Love’s daemon is dead—and you can often discern a distinct element of thank god—and pure vinegar reigns.

Far from indicating an era’s creeping spiritual death, vinegar literature can be a sign of its maturity. It would be foolish to generalize, but ages that are only obsessed with the ecstasies and agonies of the carnal may well turn out to be intense but callow. Whatever the case, the greatest psychological novelists, like Stendhal or Flaubert, combine vinegar and wine—the disillusioned but smiling perspective of the mate with the erotic obsession of the lover.

Standing off to the side of these romantic partners is a closely related type of mate, perhaps indeed the beau ideal of erotic mateship in its approaching-vinegar phase: the mate as friend. This mate appears at the very beginning of written literature: The Epic of Gilgamesh, written as early as 3,000 b.c., recounts the love of the half-divine King Gilgamesh for his human friend Enkidu, a love that leads the heartbroken king to travel to the underworld to try to bring his dead friend back. “I thought my friend would come back because of my weeping,” Gilgamesh laments, in words that echo down the millennia. A mate in this sense is traditionally male, though there is no reason the word can’t stretch beyond its British nautical roots to include women. (As Octavio Paz argues in his erudite, heartfelt exploration of love and literature, The Double Flame: Love and Eroticism, the comparative absence of great female friendships in the canon is due to social constraints on women, not to the feminine shortcomings alleged even by so great a thinker as Montaigne.)

A mate is no ordinary friend: he or she is a bro, a dude, a homeboy, a pard, a pally—someone who’s got your back, who’s connected to you by a kind of tribal bond, like those found in Clifford Geertz or the Crips and the Bloods. Since American men notoriously pursue loneliness and bowl alone, the Ur-mate is British or Australian: American male friendship tends to be too jumpy and self-centered. The most powerful contemporary portrait of mates I know is in Graham Swift’s exquisite Last Orders, the tale of a gang of aging, working-class East Londoners who carry out their promise to dump a pal’s ashes off Margate Pier. These men are of the generation that fought in World War II, which is telling: one of the two quintessential mate types is the soldier. The friendships in Erich Maria Remarque’s All Quiet on the Western Front and his powerful, little-known sequel, The Road Back, are not deeply developed, but they are unforgettable.

The other quintessential mate locale is, of course, the Old West. The friendship of Augustus McCrae and Woodrow Call in Larry McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove, that rare book that is at once a potboiler and a literary masterpiece, is truly epic: it reaches sublime heights in the book’s long, heartbreaking denouement when Call honors his promise and travels alone, carrying the coffin of his friend from Missouri to Texas to bury him.

The mate need not even be human. In Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings’s The Yearling, the love of young Jody Baxter for his fawn Flag culminates in Jody’s initiation into the heartbreak of adulthood—a passage captured in the book’s beautiful closing:

Flag—He did not believe he should ever again love anything, man or woman or his own child, as he had loved the yearling. He would be lonely all his life. But a man took it for his share and went on.
In the beginning of his sleep, he cried out, “Flag!”
It was not his own voice that called. It was a boy’s voice. Somewhere beyond the sink-hole, past the magnolia, under the live oaks, a boy and a yearling ran side by side, and were gone forever.


In the greatest novels, friendship becomes as rich, strange, and spiritually complex as a great love affair. This is emphatically true in the greatest Western novel of all, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. The relationship of Jim and Huck, with its racial audacity and the haunting ambiguity in which the slave is father to the fatherless boy and the fatherless boy is father to the slave, stands as one of the supreme examples in world literature of friendship, a friendship that breaks the bounds of our understanding of that category as decisively as King Lear and Cordelia break through our received understanding of fathers and daughters.

The turning point in Huck’s understanding of Jim, and of himself, comes when he decides to turn Jim in. At first Huck is overjoyed, knowing he is finally doing a good deed that will send him to heaven; but then he gets to thinking. “And went on thinking. And got to thinking over our trip down the river; and I see Jim before me all the time: in the day and in the night-time, sometimes moonlight, sometimes storms, and we a-floating along, talking and singing and laughing. But somehow I couldn’t seem to strike no places to harden me against him, but only the other kind.”

The climax of this passage, when Huck decides not to turn Jim in and says, “All right, then I’ll go to hell,” is justly famous. But it is the sentence “But somehow I couldn’t seem to strike no places to harden me against him, but only the other kind” that has always moved me, with its humility, the pathos of its involuntary love.

And unlike Kundera’s couple, whose final closeness is sublime yet haunted by a hint of artificiality, Huck and Jim are together effortlessly. “It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big, still river, laying on our backs looking up at the stars, and we didn’t ever feel like talking loud, and it warn’t often that we laughed—only a little kind of a low chuckle.” Nothing really happens in this scene, but it is as close to idyllic as anything in modern literature.

We have only touched on the first, second, and third mates—the Starbucks, Stubbs, and Flasks of the literary world. But the gallery is endlessly, gloriously varied: Bertie and Jeeves, Elizabeth and Darcy, Prince Hal and Falstaff, Helena and Hermia, Dean and Sal, Lear and Kent, Tristan and Isolde, Hamm and Clov, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, Poldi Bloom and Stephen Dedalus. (The entire plot of the most important novel of the twentieth century culminates in the moment when Young Joyce and Old Joyce, having finally met, piss together—an action that could be considered the apotheosis of male matedom.)

These pairs have nothing in common except the fact that they are together. They may be blood brothers, or conspiring fools; master and servant, or husband and wife; father and son, or the most complicated of friends. It doesn’t matter: what matters is that for some reason, as they made their way through the world, they found each other, found solace, or an answer, or a wilder music, and for a moment, or a lifetime, two turned into one. Falstaff’s plea to Prince Hal, who he knows is about to drop him, could speak for them all, that great pageant of lovers and friends: “Banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.”




This essay originally appeared in the "Mates" issue of Francis Ford Coppola's Zoetrope: All-Story magazine, featuring stories by Louis Begley, Mary Gaitskill and Robert Olen Butler and artwork by the Clayton brothers. For more information about Zoetrope and the Mates issue, go to www.all-story.com.


From salon.com